2009年3月12日 星期四

I am a FooL!




I been looking a person who’s really, truly, and fully of love to loving me since I knowing The Love exiting in this world. I had been desperately, desirably and believably to the person in the way of perfection. I had been going through a few of experiences, trying hard to searching, scanning, and finding for someone I’m really belonging to. I had been dreaming, thinking, and looking the way to live, the way to feel that I am exit’s to this world.
But…
I couldn’t feel that I am here, righteous to this world. I couldn’t breathe, hardly to breathe when the early morning I sat on the toilet bowl; smoking and thinking what the hack I should do every damn whole day. I couldn’t tell the feeling to anyone, even my close friends. I’m shame if I told them and they’re feedback is ’Laughing’ at me.
So…
I rather choose to be silent. Pretending, ignoring, and denial find a solution to solve my “problems”. This is a “problems” to me? Isn’t “it” really bored me? I am keeping on asking myself. Seriously, it is not really a “problems” to me. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Maybe I am bored; keep on repeating the same foot step every single morning.
I can feel my neck is pain because of I didn’t sleep well. Almost every late night, I woke up from the bed for no reason. Am I under pressure? What pressure I having now? Something stupid ideas come out from my stupid mind. Somehow, am I too lonely? Horrible, terrible, and unbelievable to realise that I am lonely.
Lonely, it is a strong word for me. I don’t want to be, and I will not to be alone. Maybe, there was the reason I adopted a dog.

3 則留言:

Jon 提到...

I am sorry. I hope you feel better. Just to let you know.. you are not the only one who goes through all this. We all have been there, and we all have gone through almost the same... Breathe. We all can make through this.

DluvK4@ver 提到...

投入爱情里,给于100%的关怀,换回来的可能是痛苦/真爱。爱情,可以轰轰烈烈的发展,甜甜蜜蜜的享受,但要维持长久的爱情就得付出很多的努力。如果对方并不珍惜你的存在,至少该做的你都完成了,何必为一个不懂得疼惜你的人而感到烦恼呢,何必为她伤心,难过,流泪。即使你再怎么挽留,她还是不属于你的了。

这世界上,跟你同样遭遇的人有很多,你身边的朋友也一样吧。短暂的难过是被允许,但长期为她伤心流泪,只可以说你傻。大哭一场,冷静思考一般,再把这伤心地回忆通通抛掉!别再为过去的事而提不起神来,人生还有很多精彩等着你去发掘。眼睛长在额头前是要告诉人凡是都要往前看,过去的就让它过去,开心的是就放在脑海里,伤心的就把它给忘了。

如果你问我真爱是否存在?我会说有,但看你有没有耐心去等待而已。别把爱情看得太重,期望越高,盼不到时,失望更深。伤心,难过只有自己一人去面对。 何必呢?

小丑 提到...

What is your dog's name? upload his/her photo here, I like animals as always.

lol.

Sometimes I think of adopting a dog or a cat, but when I am thinking of my ability, this idea just can be thinking in my mind only. lol.